Subjective Eclectica

I can’t believe I missed the deadline for day six! Oh well, deal with it, and such.
The most terrifying pokemon is…

VICTREEBEL!

No, I don’t think you understand. Look.

HOLY SHIT, HAVE YOU SEEN THIS THING?

When I was leveling my Pokemon in preparation for Clair’s Gym, I found a little “island,” an isolated patch of grass surrounded by water on two sides and trees on the other two, in Johto’s Route 44. I took to naming this “Route of obscure fetishes,” since the grass was populated by Tangelas and Weepinbells (tentacles and vore), and the water by Poliwags and Poliwhirls (hypnosis— yes, that’s a fetish too). As one tends to do when one is grinding the same Pokemon for far too long, I started imagining the effects that each Pokemon’s attacks had on each other. It was pretty damn horrific, actually, but I was grinning like an idiot the whole time at the thought of the game being so much more mature than it looks with only a little added imagination. As I kept battling, the Pokemon themselves became more realistic in my mind, and I imagined them trying to ambush me on this little isolated patch of grass, with my trusty Furret Pabu fending them off from every corner.

This was one of my more memorable experiences in the game, despite how mundane it would have been if I hadn’t bothered to make it fun. And it opened my eyes to the fact that Pokemon would be freaking terrifying if they weren’t cartoony. The moves of most Grass Pokemon are based around acidity and absorbing, as well as incorporating things like sleep/stun powder to incapacitate their victims and sweet scent to draw them closer to their impending demise. And although Grass Pokemon are my favourite type, there’s something about that that both intrigues me and chills me to the bone. Which brings me back to Victreebel.

This thing just looks evil. Its eyes are malicious as hell, like all they want is for you to come just a little bit closer. Not to mention its size means that it could overpower a human and swallow it whole in probably under five seconds. The best thing about carnivorous plants in real life is that they’re not sentient (that we know of…) and they can’t MOVE. Victreebel is mobile, and it’s coming for you and your children.

Kids in the Pokemon world are given their companions at such a young age because they need protection from things like this fucking Pokemon right here.
But despite this, if I was an all-grass trainer in Johto or Kanto, I would still have this thing in my party. Grass Pokemon rule.

Oh, did I mention? It screams. On Route 44, this is the last thing you would ever hear.

Case closed.

(Source: trevor-henderson.com)